the key to ultimate power
by shel
Summary: phoebe's decision to research the christy situation involves a trip to her past...
1. part 1

**CHARMED**

**"The Key to Ultimate Power"**

by shel

© april 2006

_disclaimer: the charmed ones, cole, and leo, and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love, belong to spelling television, inc. and possible other copyright holders. i intended no true infringement on their copyrights; i only wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear; the only things i've gained from this story are the satisfaction and pleasure of having written it and in knowing that others may have enjoyed it too…_

_rating: pg-13_

_summary: phoebe's decision to research the christy situation involves a trip to her past… _

_timeline: the evening after the events of s8's 'engaged and confused'…_

_archive: please don't without expressed permission…_

_notes: minor references to s2's 'heartbreak city,' s8's 'hulkus pulkus,' and 'vaya con leos,' s7's 'seven year witch,' s3's 'all halliwell's eve,' and s4's 'long live the queen'…please let me know if you enjoyed my tale and why and, if not, why not…and, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames…_

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_**Part One**_

"You're trespassing," Phoebe warned without lifting her eyes from the page in the Book of Shadows. But almost immediately, she regretted her harsh tone and looked up at her visitor. She'd only known this particular Cupid for a few days but, despite his poor timing, she knew he meant well. He was a Cupid after all. "Sorry, Coop, it's been a long day."

"Weddings are pretty emotional events," he suggested as he observed the witch. "Can wipe out even a Cupid."

"You're kidding," her eyes widened with surprise and she leaned back into the attic sofa's cushions. "Who knew?"

"Cupids are all about love," he shrugged, "and love's a powerful emotion, especially at a wedding. It's not just the bride and groom, you know…it's everyone. And it's not just love, there's also much sadness, sometimes even bitterness. Weddings can be hard on a Cupid, particularly a newbie."

"I didn't realize," Phoebe murmured before returning to her place in the Book. "Too much for you, huh…"

"For instance," he continued, ignoring her tease, "yesterday, Paige and Henry were radiating sheer love and happiness. Their feet probably never touched the ground and that had nothing at all to do with your kind of magic. Everyone who witnessed those solemn and loving vows, surprised at attending a wedding instead of an engagement party, was truly happy for the couple and with the opportunity to share in the joy."

"But…" she prompted.

"But then we have you," he warily began.

Phoebe gripped the edges of the Book in her lap, "Are you saying I wasn't happy for my sister?"

"I'm not saying that at all," he quickly apologized. "I know how much you love Paige. And she knows it and feels the same towards you. But your loneliness was equally as strong, pulling at me just the same. And it wasn't all on Piper's behalf either. Piper was actually handling this wedding better than you and she's the one with the missing husband."

She'd heard enough and reminded him, "You're trespassing and I'm busy."

"How 'bout some company?" he offered instead. "I'm a good listener, could even introduce you to a few nice g--"

She held up her hand to stop him, "Look, Coop, I appreciate that you want to help make up for the Elders' interference in our lives but I've told you a hundred times already, I'm not interested in meeting anyone right now. If my life wasn't busy enough, we've also got our hands full with this big evil we're supposed to defeat so unless you've got some suggestions about that…"

He pointed to the small low table that displayed a small black cauldron and a variety of filled glass vials. "You think by researching on your own, you can spare your sisters from being hurt? That because somehow their lives are more fulfilled than yours, that because they've got others counting on them, you're the one who can afford to be sacrificed if necessary? You think you're being noble but --"

He was hitting too close to home and tears stung the corners of her eyes as she denied, "That is so not true!"

"Oh, you're brave," he corrected himself, "and no one denies the sacrifices you've made for the good of the world. But what you're doing here, alone in the attic in the middle of the night, you're not researching, you're hiding."

She focused on the page and spoke through gritted teeth, "You've got no idea what I'm doing."

"I know you're hiding your heart again," he gently accused. "You think if you concentrate on this great evil, you won't have time to deal with your loneliness or your pain. But, Phoebe, if you don't deal with it, I'm afraid…"

Her head snapped up from the Book and her tone was just as sharp, "What?"

He gazed sadly at her and took a moment before he replied, "The deeper you bury your heart, I'm not sure anyone, not even me, will be able to reach you to pull you out."

The retort she'd been about to make died on her lips. "You're really worried," she commented with some surprise.

"I don't want you to become one of the lost," Coop admitted. "My colleague told me to be kind and give you space but maybe I got too enthusiastic about my assignment."

Phoebe couldn't help but smile as she recalled her time with Cupid, "I sure gave him a run for his money. Good thing we helped him get that ring back or, never mind. Y'know, you're not so bad yourself. I really do appreciate the attention. It's just, I told you, I've got other things on my mind right now, more important things."

"Excuses," he uttered. "That's all they are. You can't hide your feelings from me, Phoebe. I know you feel love isn't worth the pain because of all the times it's let you down."

She tried to shrug nonchalantly, "I'm over that now. I gave love a shot and lost. Several times actually. End of story."

He dropped to one knee and placed his hands on hers that were still holding the Book of Shadows, "But see, it doesn't have to be the end. All you have to do is open your heart, just a little, Phoebe, and love will do the rest."

"I've heard this before," she gently told him as she set the Book to her side, "from my family, from that annoyingly lovable Cupid, and from some pretty special men, even a demon or two. And I think love is wonderful. Honest, Coop. I've seen it in my sisters, in my friends. I've seen it in my audience. And I've felt it myself. Love has made me the happiest woman alive and if you can really feel my emotions, you know I'm telling you the truth."

He rocked back on his heels, "Then why hold back now?"

"Because I'm tired," she confessed. "Because love has also given me the worst moments of my life and I'm not ready to go through all that pain again. I need to enjoy being Phoebe before I can even think of sharing my life again with som--"

As soon as she moved in order to rise, he grabbed her wrists to keep her in place and interrupted, "But you don't have to go it alone. And you don't have the time to try."

"You know about this evil, don't you," she suddenly accused.

"I can't see the future," he assured her, "at least not the way you mean."

But she was already riled and stood as she yanked her hands free, "I'm so sick of everyone knowing our future and leaving us to fend for ourselves. You want us to save the world but you won't lift a finger to help us."

"That's not true," he argued. "I am here to help you, Phoebe. Love is still in your future and that little girl is still waiting for you. You've had the vision, more than one. You've even talked to your future self and she assured you it would --"

"So?" she impatiently uttered.

"So," he urged, "you know it's real. It's, she's, your destiny."

"I know nothing of the sort," Phoebe hissed. "Some visions aren't meant to ever come true."

"This one is," he promised, "but it won't happen if you don't believe in love. And that won't happen if you close your heart to the world around you. Please, let me help you."

"I just moved into a new apartment," she testily informed him as she swiped the Book off the sofa and returned it to its pedestal, "to meet new people and have a life of my own. How's that closing my heart? Why don't you go back and tell the Elders that I'll open my heart the day Leo comes home. How 'bout that, huh?"

Coop watched her seethe and grew disheartened. How had the Cupids let her situation deteriorate to this point? "You're not ready yet. I'm sorry, Phoebe, I thought I could…" She didn't respond nor look at him and he sighed, "I won't be far away. All you have to do is call…"

Phoebe merely folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. It wasn't until a few minutes after he'd disappeared that she meandered back to the sofa and wearily sat down. "Dammit," she whispered. Coop had only been doing his job.

"Hey…"

Startled from her thoughts, Phoebe looked up to see her bleary-eyed older sister stumble into the room. "Didn't mean to wake you."

"'Sokay," Piper mumbled as she flopped onto the sofa next to her sister. "What're you doing here?" she yawned.

"Research," Phoebe admitted.

Piper opened one eye and peeked at her sister, "At this time of night?"

"I couldn't sleep," Phoebe shrugged. "With all the excitement over the wedding, we still can't forget about Christy."

Piper shut her eye again and sighed, "Billie's trying, we all are, but it's gonna take time to remind Christy how to be human again, to teach her how to fit in."

"Which we don't ha-- Look," she shifted position and faced her sister, "we know that Christy's the key to this whole big evil thing but we don't know what that means. We don't know why the Triad took her in the first place or whether the Triad will reform again or whether others will still come after her. And I can't…"

Suddenly more alert, Piper opened her eyes and leaned forward, "You can't what?"

"I can't…We're running out of time," Phoebe suddenly whispered. "I can feel it, Piper."

"Your power's back?"

Phoebe shook her head, "It's not empathy. It's," she stood and began restlessly pacing, "it's this feeling that, that things're happening too fast and I, I'm sorry, I don't know how to explain it but I know it's true. Time's running out. It's all coming together now and I'm not sure we'll have any control over what happens next."

"Everything happens for a reason," Piper murmured. "Billie coming into our lives…finding Christy….the Triad…"

"Losing Leo…" In frustration, Phoebe blew some hair from her face and stopped in front of her older sister. "The Angel of Destiny told us next to nothing about this evil and, after what they did to Leo, I don't have much faith in the Elders."

"So wha'd'you suggest we do?" Piper asked. "It's not like we've got other sources that can help with this."

"Remember that Halloween when we were thrown back in time?" Phoebe countered. "Remember how helpless we felt to rescue Charlotte because we didn't have the knowledge we needed?" When Piper warily nodded, Phoebe tried to smile confidently, "I'm gonna make sure we get the knowledge we need now. It might be the most important tool we'll have to fight this evil. The answers are out there, we just have to find them and connect all the dots."

Piper indicated to the vials she'd spotted on the table, "You made an all-knowing potion?"

Phoebe smiled for a second or two before she shook her head, "Not exactly."

Piper frowned at her sister's deliberately vague answer, "Phoebe, what've you done?"

Phoebe went to the table and picked up an envelope that was next to the cauldron. After a moment's hesitation, she carried it back to her sister, "Don't open it yet…"

Now terrified of what Phoebe wasn't saying, Piper stood and shoved it back at her sister, "I won't let you."

"Won't let me what?"

"Do whatever it is you're planning," Piper anxiously declared. "I'm not about to lose another sister." And before Phoebe could say a word, she pointed at the envelope, "That's a goodbye letter. God, if I hadn't heard the floorboards creaking… How could you think of leaving like this!"

Phoebe immediately pulled her resistant sister into a hug, "I love you, Piper, but we need help. We need answers and information and I'm the only one who can get them."

"Paige and I --"

"Paige is enjoying a few days of honeymoon bliss," Phoebe argued, "and you have to consider Wyatt and Chris. It has to be me." She kissed her sister, "If all goes well, I'll be back long before morning and you won't even have to open it."

Piper glanced down at the envelope clenched in Phoebe's hand and her voice cracked, "And if it doesn't…"

Phoebe squeezed her sister tighter before pulling back, "You need to go back to bed while I need to concentrate…" She gently shoved Piper towards the door.

Piper turned in the doorway, "Phoebe, please, I love you and I don't want to lose you. Wait a few days until we can talk to Paige. Together we'll come up with something."

Phoebe gave a quick peck to Piper's cheek, "I'll be back before morning." And with Piper still standing there, Phoebe closed the door and locked it. She faced the empty room, took a deep breath, and then she got to work.

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	2. part 2

_**Part Two**_

As the cooling potion continued to bubble, Phoebe carefully tossed some of the throw pillows on the floor in the center of a ring of unlit candles. She glanced at her watch and back at the cauldron and knew there was no reason to delay any longer. She lit the candles, making sure all were straight and spread enough apart and not in danger of causing a fire.

"You don't have to go through with this…"

Phoebe rolled her eyes, "Coop…"

"Okay," he mimicked zippering his lips, "I'll zip it…But I'm staying."

"Don't you have other cases?" she muttered as she carefully stepped out of the circle and returned to the cauldron.

"You're my top priority right now," he informed her.

"Fine," she relented as she stirred the potion one last time, "you can make sure no one orbs in and disturbs anything. If I'm not back by morning, make sure Piper gets that envelope over there." She frowned at the greenish brown color and bent her head over the cauldron to take a whiff. At least it didn't smell as bad as it looked, she thought with a sigh.

"Time travel's tricky," Coop mentioned. "You might be better off with a spell or portal."

"It'll work," she told him as she pocketed two of the small vials she'd already prepared before she looked up at him in surprise. "How'd you know I'd be traveling through time?" But she quickly shook her head and began pouring the potion into a drinking glass, "Never mind. Look, I researched it and this should give me more than enough time to get my answers before it wears off and brings me back." Phoebe stared at the liquid in the glass and grimaced. It still looked like something from the sewer and she hoped it wouldn't prove to taste the same.

"It's risky," he mused, "in more ways than one. And before you deny it, I happen to know that right now you're more afraid of seeing him again than you are about this great evil you're researching."

"Cole's the only one who can help," she quietly stated as she set the glass down, avoiding the cupid's sharp gaze.

"So this's all a business trip to you," he inquired, "no cracks in your façade as you confront the love of your life?"

Phoebe realized it was futile to argue that point because it was probably still true. "I won't let myself fall apart," she declared instead, "this's too important. Besides, I'm not confronting him. I'm just asking him a few questions and --"

"You loved him, Phoebe," Coop emphasized as he lightly placed his hands on her shoulders, "and there's no shame in that. Give yourself a break and acknowledge how wonderful it was."

"I never denied it was wonderful!" she retorted, stepping out from under his grip. "Cole was everything to me! But he also nearly destroyed me and I can't, I won't, let him in and ruin my life for me now."

"He can't do that anymore," he shook his head, "only you have the power to do that to yourself."

Phoebe didn't respond because she didn't know how to respond. Coop was right about her fear, she was terrified of seeing Cole and reopening deep wounds that she knew had never truly healed. But Cole was the one person she trusted to give her the answers she needed about the Triad and about Christy. It was risky seeing him again, at a time when they were so much in love, a time when they thought love would let them overcome any obstacle and she wasn't sure her heart would return with her in one piece. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, "I don't have a choice."

"What if he realizes you're from a different time," Coop wondered, "or what if your past-self appears at the same time? You might change the past and make things worse."

She shook her head, "I've got it covered." He seemed skeptical and she sighed before explaining, "I'm picking a time after he became human. He was so unsure of himself then. But if I tell him I had a premonition and need his help, it might help convince him that even if he didn't have his powers, he still had valuable knowledge that he could teach us."

He considered her explanation, "You still didn't answer my questions. What if he figures it out? What if you're caught?"

She patted one of her pockets, "A potion to make someone forget."

"What's the other potion for?"

She hesitated before answering, "It's a truth-serum of sorts, a strong one."

He eyed her in surprise, "I thought you trust Cole."

"I do, I did," she quickly insisted. "But I also have to anticipate glitches with the time-travel potion. It might take a while to get Cole alone or he might not want to talk about the Underworld. I need a back-up plan to make sure I don't lose valuable time. Hopefully I won't even need it."

"I can't stop you, can I?" he realized.

She picked up the drinking glass, patted his arm as she passed him, and apologized, "I'm doing the right thing."

"Then do me a favor," he requested as she settled on the pillows within the circle of lit candles. She looked up at him and he suggested, "Listen to him, to yourself, and learn. This is an opportunity, maybe your last, for you to heal your heart."

Phoebe nodded and took a deep breath before swallowing the entire contents of the glass in as few gulps as possible. She was immediately dizzy but managed to set the glass on the floor next to her before she collapsed on the pillows.

"Good luck, Phoebe," Coop wished as he watched her body disappear.

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Phoebe thought she smelled smoke but couldn't manage to open her eyes. Had one of the candles fallen? She called out for Coop but, surprisingly, her voice was barely a whisper. She turned her head and moaned from the sensation of the room spinning although she hadn't yet opened her eyes. But when she finally did and she saw the cavern walls, she frantically tried to bring herself up to a seated position.

"Phoebe!"

She was so dizzy and nauseous that it took her a few moments to register the anxious man helping her sit up. "Cole…"

"What happened?" he asked, sweeping her hair from her face. "You said you were going to bed. Is it the baby?"

"Baby?" she gasped again. Then she realized how he was dressed, all in black with his cloak opened. "Omigod," she panicked. Something had gone wrong with her timing. She hadn't returned to a time when Cole was human but to the time after he'd become, "Source…" She felt the blood drain from her face and swayed before everything went black.

Cole caught her before she fell back to the floor and quickly gathered her in his arms. With the slightest motion of his fingers, he created a plush chaise lounge and set his wife down on it. He was about to call for the Seer when Phoebe stirred. He sat on the edge of the lounge, lightly caressed her cheek, and encouraged, "That's it, open your eyes."

Phoebe's first thought was that she'd made a terrible mistake. But the weight of the small vials in her pockets forced her to open her eyes. "Cole," her voice cracked. She couldn't fall apart now. She tried pushing him back.

Realizing he was hovering too close, he leaned back and suggested, "Don't move, just take some deep breaths…In a few minutes, I'll take you back home…"

"No!" She propped herself up on her elbows, "No, I'm okay."

"Of course you are in that lovely shade of green," he teased before kissing her forehead. "Here," he offered as he held out his hand and presented her with a newly materialized teacup and saucer, "I've read that tea helps with the morning sickness which, as we both already know, can strike even at night."

At least the potion hadn't backfired completely. It had made her so dizzy and nauseous that Cole hadn't thought twice about her appearance in the Underworld. But his comment still surprised her and she accepted the cup and peered at him over its rim as she cautiously took a sip, "You read up on pregnancy? When?"

"Now and then," he admitted, "ever since you told me the news." He glanced down and pressed a hand to her flat stomach, "You're carrying our son, Phoebe. I want to know what you're going through, help you any way I can."

She gazed down at the hand pressing the belly she knew was empty, "Help me become evil, you mean?"

"You've had a rough week," he harshly acknowledged as he practically leaped to his feet, "so I'll let that one pass."

"It's hard," was all Phoebe said before she took another sip of the tea which, to her surprise, seemed to help.

"I understand," he nodded, "that with one split-second decision your world was changed and that you've also got to cope with the additional changes your body is experiencing. And I'm making allowances, believe me. Take last night for instance. Did I get angry or upset?"

Still unsure of exactly when she'd arrived, she mumbled into her cup, "Last night?"

"Don't play the innocent witch," he warned, "you know I'm talking about your vanquish of Larta."

"Which one was he again?" But the nausea came back with a vengeance as images of her brief reign as Queen flashed through her mind and she set aside the cup before bringing her hand to the base of her throat.

Concerned, Cole waved away the cup and sat next to her again. He gently pushed her back into the cushions. "Larta, the demon I had in charge of a major assignment in London. It'll take his replacement weeks to recover all the data and move ahead with the hunt."

"Oops," she sheepishly uttered as she closed her eyes.

But he caught sarcasm in her tone, "I mean it, Phoebe." Her eyes opened and he met her gaze, "You cannot continue vanquishing my minions especially if it's only because you hated the knockoff designer shoes he was wearing."

Oh, that Larta. She now recalled that vanquish with crystal clarity as if it had happened the night before rather than four years earlier. "If they're gonna dress the part," she shrugged as she had back then, "they shouldn't cut corners. Shoes are an accessory that can make or break the outfit and --"

Cole impulsively kissed her, "Yes, you can buy that pair of three hundred dollar heels you had your heart set on." But instead of a smile, he saw her eyes well with tears, "You're tired. The Seer said it's most important for you to get as much rest as you can." She was about to retort so he placed a finger on her lips, "This baby's of a very powerful lineage and I want you in the best possible health for carrying him to term so go back to bed. I've still got some business to take care of here but it shouldn't take long." He noticed she didn't seem any happier and he apologized, "I know I've been busy these past few nights but I have a lot to reorganize and it must be done as soon as possible. You said you understood and I'm…asking you to be a little more patient. Now go on, go home."

Unfortunately, she didn't have the power to leave on her own and she couldn't let him take her there or he'd discover her past-self sound asleep. She grabbed his arm as he started to rise, "Cole…" He immediately sat down again but she was suddenly nervous about bringing up the Triad. What if he suspected her true intentions? She couldn't go up against the Source alone.

The color seemed to have drained again from her face, "Are you feeling sick again?" When she shook her head, he pulled her into his arms and he was surprised when she seemed uncomfortably stiff. "Phoebe?"

It was almost more than she could bear, to be held in his arms again. Source or not, she'd always drawn strength from being in his arms, from his love for her. "I've missed you…" she unexpectedly confessed.

"I promise we'll have some time alone once things settle down. But right now --" Cole froze when he suddenly felt the objects hidden within Phoebe's clothing after she'd finally relaxed and pressed herself closer to him. "Those had better not be what I think they are," he warned as he pulled back. She didn't respond. "Give them to me."

"No," she refused as she tried to scramble off the lounge. But she'd only managed to go a few steps before she was overcome by waves of dizziness. And she inwardly cursed the time travel potion again.

He quickly supported her by the elbows and led her back onto the lounge. In a calmer tone, he assured her, "You don't need vanquishing potions anymore. You're where you belong and you're safe."

"Yeah, right," she snorted.

He cupped her chin and forced her to look at him, "I love you, Phoebe, and I won't let anyone harm you."

"You're the Source!" she snapped as she wrenched her head free. "You can't love!"

"But he can. And he does."

"Why do you do that?" she complained. "You're the same being, Cole. The only difference is that now you're evil!"

"There's more to it than that." He traced the contour of her cheek, "Sometimes I forget just how young and naïve you are."

"You're evil," she jerked away, "I'm not naïve about that."

"Perhaps not," he considered, "but you don't know about the way things work down here. And, while you're ill and tired, now is not the time for lessons. But don't worry, Phoebe, I'll personally teach you everything you need to know." She didn't seem reassured, though, and he decided to reveal, "Cole still exists. Deep in the recesses of my mind, my very being, he cries out. Why do you think I made you my queen?"

Phoebe couldn't answer. Back then, she hadn't truly thought about what it was like for Cole when he was Source. And it wasn't something they'd really discussed after he'd escaped from the Wasteland. But over the past few years, in her weaker moments, she'd thought about it and had begun to question the truth of the entire situation. Had it been more than Cole being unable to resist the pull of that strong an evil? What if Cole hadn't simply become the Source? What if the Source was a separate entity and Cole had somehow been trapped deep inside his own body? Had Cole been hoping for her to save him? And did she save him by vanquishing him only to fail him in the months that followed as she watched his mental capacity deteriorate with madness?

Cole brushed away a tear that trailed down her cheek. "He loves you, Phoebe, and therefore I love you. The penalty for taking over a human I suppose. But, there it is, I can't reign without you. It's as simple as that."

"There's nothing simple about any of this," she sadly acknowledged. How could she have ever thought otherwise? It was never simply black and white for them. She and Cole had always been caught in the grey where the rules constantly changed and they never had time to think before acting and reacting, where they always seemed short of time.

"You can't change what happened," he reminded her as he clasped one of her hands in his. "I'm the Source now and you're my Queen. And you are carrying the first Prince of the Underworld."

"Prince…" she whispered to herself with horror. Genetically hers and Cole's but, other than that, she knew it had been evil. It hadn't been their son at all. In the space of a few weeks she'd gone from being a woman completely in love with her husband and baby-to-be to one so terrified by her own evil descent that she then rejected anything to do with him. She'd been too angry, too afraid, to listen to him or to even share her own fears with him. She'd wanted him gone, cut out of her life, as if that would've made everything all better. And it hadn't. She still had an empty hole in her heart.

"You will come to accept this new life," he told her, oblivious to her inner turmoil. "I know it's hard but with time you'll find this life more rewarding than you could ever imagine." He gave her hand an encouraging squeeze, "The Charmed Ones are broken, I'm taking action against some of the stronger factions, and, under my restructured Underworld, you will be my most powerful ally, Phoebe." He brought her hand to rest on her belly, "And soon enough, you will provide me with an heir who will know no rival."

She shrank back against the cushion. She'd anticipated asking Cole her questions, not the Source. She gave a bitter chuckle, what had Piper said earlier about not having available sources? She squeezed her eyes shut, brought her free hand to her forehead, and tried to ignore the way his fingers had begun stroking her other hand.

Unwilling to let the earlier issue slide, he repeated in a silky tone, "Give me the potions, Phoebe. I've already made the penalties painfully clear if you come to any harm while we reign."

She smirked and opened her eyes, "But it'd still be too late for me, wouldn't it…" She shook her head, "Maybe they accept you as Source but they're still undecided about a queen who, until almost a week ago, was a Charmed One out to vanquish each and every one of them…"

"Perhaps you have a point," he conceded just before a demon shimmered into the room. "What?" he angrily spun towards the intruder.

Appearing as a young human male in his mid-twenties, the demon, dressed in plaid shirt and torn jeans, respectfully bowed his head, "My liege, I bring you the news you requested of the assault on the --"

"Stop," Cole ordered. "Wait for me in the chemist's chamber where you will tell me the rest." He waited for the demon to shimmer away before he focused on Phoebe. "Minor matter, no need to worry you when you're not well."

"Or is that you don't trust me?" Phoebe wondered.

"I've let you keep your potions," he smiled as he leaned closer, "and not punished you for killing Larta or any of the others. I trust you, my wife." He kissed her forehead, "Go home. I'll join you soon."

Before she could react, he'd flamed from the edge of the lounge, and Phoebe groaned, "Now what to I do?"

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	3. part 3

_**Part Three**_

Phoebe stopped pacing and glanced at her watch. Cole had been gone for nearly two hours and, by her calculation, she only had a few left before the potion would wear off. But she still needed the answers she came for and she didn't look forward to interrupting Cole to get them. She glanced around the room hoping to find something she'd missed. She'd already examined every book lying around and the few written in English that she could read weren't any help. She glanced at her watch again and suddenly panicked that Cole might have gone straight back to the penthouse.

"Why are you still here?"

She jumped in surprise and pressed a hand to her racing heart.

Cole quickly approached and apologized, "I thought you'd gone home hours ago."

"I couldn't," she truthfully told him. "I need to talk to you."

"Sit down," he told her as he pointed to the chaise lounge, "before you keel over. Do you want something to eat?"

She automatically brought a hand to her throat and managed to shake her head as she made her way back to the lounge.

He watched as she awkwardly made herself comfortable. "It's okay, Phoebe, I approve."

"Approve of what?"

"Did you think I hadn't noticed?" He sat next to her and fingered the ends of her hair, "I like it this way."

She gasped. How could she have forgotten to put her hair up before she drank the potion? "Of all the stupid --"

"It gives you a more regal appearance," he quickly assured her in the hopes of assuaging a mood swing.

"Of course you like it," she glared at him, "you hated it when I cut it in the first place."

Too late, he realized. Her emotions were already spinning. "You could have discussed it first," he merely said.

"Don't take that tone with me, Cole," she warned.

He brushed her hair behind her shoulders and, lightly gripping them, kissed her lips, "You're beautiful."

Phoebe couldn't think, not with his lips on hers, not with him pulling her closer, not with her body responding eagerly to his touch.

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He felt Phoebe shiver so he created a warm blanket that settled comfortably over them. "Better?"

Partly sprawled on him, Phoebe nuzzled his bare chest, "Almost like it was before."

He heard the regret in her voice and, stroking her back, he kissed the top of her head, and admitted, "He's stronger now. When we're like this, I mean. Because of you, his love for you. I can almost understand the power this emotion wields and how I've previously underestimated it before."

She squeezed her arm tighter around his waist, "Oh, Cole, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

His thumb gently wiped away the tears from her cheek as his palm caressed it. "It can be better than before, Phoebe. Give me a chance, give us a chance."

"This," she emphasized with a kiss to his chest, "was never our problem, Cole." She lifted her head slightly but couldn't look at him as she lightly tapped his chest, "This was always magical. But we thought we could keep ourselves in that magical bubble and that was part of our mistake."

"Why do you keep talking about us in the past tense?"

"Because," she nervously stuttered as she tried to think of an excuse, "because you're constantly telling me that I have to leave that life in the past."

He gently pressed her head back to his chest and continued stroking her shoulder and arm, "Touché."

"If I ask you something," she quietly asked as her body automatically found its favorite position nestling against his, "would you give me an honest answer, as honest as you can, anyway?"

"Ask your question," he replied without hesitation. She remained silent though so he encouraged, "Whatever you want."

Phoebe propped herself on his chest with her elbows and gazed directly into his eyes, "Do you really believe we can live happily ever after down here?"

"Technically, we won't be living down here," he replied as he smoothed her hair behind her ears. But before she could protest, he added, "We will be a force to be reckoned with for generations to come."

"That's not what I asked," Phoebe shook her head as pulled back and sat up. She let the blanket slide away and kept her focus on him. "Do you really believe we'll be happy?"

"As long as we're together," he leaned forward towards her, "as long as we're loyal to each other, yes, Phoebe, I believe we will."

With a choked sob, she let him pull her back down. "Can we," she whispered between his kisses, "can we pretend, just this once, that we're back inside that magic bubble?"

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Perilously close to falling off the lounge, Cole inched closer to her, "You should have let me take us home."

Knowing she'd been hogging most of the lounge, Phoebe was too tired to move and sighed contentedly, "Would've ruined the moment." She gasped when the blanket was suddenly yanked away. Quickly rolling over, she found herself alone on the lounge and she gazed down at the demon who struggled on the floor within the twisted blanket. When the offending object burst into flames, she couldn't help but giggle, "Next time make sure it's an extra-wide lounge."

He reached up and pulled her head down for a deep kiss, "Next time, it will be a king-size bed with silk sheets." When she tried stifling a yawn in mid-kiss, he suggested, "Luckily for you, there's already one back home calling your name."

"I don't think I can move just yet," she argued, tugging his hand to make him get up and join her on the lounge. "Are you sure no one's going to barge in on us?"

He flamed from the floor to the lounge and, spooning tightly with her, he affectionately rubbed her belly, "I've secured this chamber. Anyone who dares interrupt will painfully become a pile of ash."

"If I turn over, I won't see them staring at us through the archway?"

"No one can see past the barrier," he assured her. "You have no reason to be shy, Phoebe," he complimented as his fingers wandered up and down the side of her body, "you are quite beautiful."

"I just don't like an audience," she commented as she turned around in his arms.

"Maybe this will help," he suggested as he created a new blanket.

"Maybe it will," she teased as she pulled it over her head while kissing his chest.

"Phoebe, what are you up to?" he groaned as she kissed her way down his body.

"Not as much as you," she murmured before having her way with him.

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"I think I like what pregnancy brings out in you," he teased as they lay spent under the blanket, "but if I don't get us home now, you'll wake up cranky."

"I do not wake up cranky," she pouted before elbowing him. But he only pulled her closer and she felt her body melt against his. She giggled at the irony of feeling like she was in heaven in the middle of the Underworld.

"No more tonight, you evil witch," he playfully warned. "You need to rest."

"I wasn't the only one doing evil things tonight," she countered as she reached behind them to pinch his behind.

Pleased she could joke about being evil, Cole pressed a firm kiss to the back of her head. "It will be better than you can possibly imagine," he promised quietly.

Or worse, she thought to herself. He didn't have a clue that he was about to be vanquished at her hand on the very next night. "Cole, I need to ask you something about --" But she felt the tug of him transporting them and called out, "Wait!"

Stopping immediately, Cole asked in concern, "What's wrong?"

She had to keep him out of the bedroom where her past-self was hopefully sound asleep. Thinking quickly, she patted his chest, "I've worked up a bit of an appetite. Maybe you could bring us to the kitchen instead."

Sliding out from behind her, he rose from the lounge and held out his hand to her before flaming them to their kitchen.

Phoebe swayed the instant they appeared. "I'm okay," she assured him but he'd already lifted her into his arms. "Put me down."

"In bed," he stated.

The last place she wanted him. She kicked her feet, "Cole, I'm hungry. Put me down."

With a sigh, he complied to her wishes. "If you go back to bed, I'll make whatever you like."

"Grilled cheese," she licked her lips, "but we'll eat it here. I don't like breadcrumbs in bed." But when it suddenly appeared on a plate on the counter, she frowned, "What's that?"

"Grilled cheese," he replied as he had a glass of milk materialize next to the plate.

"I don't want that," she declared with her hands on her hips.

"You just said you wanted grilled cheese," he began impatiently, "that's what I --"

"I thought you were going to make it for me."

"I did," he insisted.

"You think you could've put a little more effort into it?" she retorted.

"Why are you picking a fight?" he snapped back.

"Because I'm about to --" Phoebe stopped herself from finishing the thought. She was about to disappear from this magical moment and return to the real world where he no longer existed. "I'm sorry," she apologized. If only she could have told him back then and made him understand the depth of her pain, of her love. If only they'd had more time before it all went to hell. The room spun again and she reached out to grab the counter. The time-travel potion was starting to work and she still didn't have the answers she came for. "I'm okay," she repeated. "Look, can you just give me back my clothes and I'll --" The clothing appeared in his hands before she finished her sentence. She accepted the items and told him, "I'll be in the bedroom."

Cole shook his head in amazement at the range of emotions she'd displayed in the span of a few minutes. "I'll make you grilled cheese the old-fashioned way," he offered as he caused the filled plate to disappear.

With tears stinging her eyes, Phoebe threw herself into his arms and kissed him, "Thank you…for everything."

He watched her turn to leave and muttered to himself, "It's going to be a long nine months."

Phoebe stiffened for a moment before storming out, "The hair's going short again!"

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She made it into the bedroom just as she was hit with a nausea-inducing dizzy spell. She saw her past-self sound asleep and dressed as quietly as she could. But after her exertions with Cole and with the dizziness growing, Phoebe hunched over and nearly collapsed on the bed. "Shhh, it's okay," Phoebe told her awakened past-self. "I don't have time so just listen. Cole's about to come in with the snack you wanted and you've gotta pour this," she instructed as she fished through her pocket for the truth potion and she shoved it at her self, "into his drink and ask him about --"

Letting her hand flame, she ordered her invading doppelganger, "Get the hell away from me."

But Phoebe was running out of time and, despite the danger, grabbed her by the shoulders, "Listen to me, you have to get Cole to drink the potion and then ask him about the Triad and Christy. You have to find out what their plans are and what this ultimate power is."

"I don't have to do anything," she shoved the woman away. But she did pick up the vial that had dropped into her lap, "What are you doing here? What is this?"

"Something to get him to tell the truth," Phoebe admitted. "You've got to do it, your future's at stake."

"Your future," she corrected as she eyed the stranger. "Chances are you've already changed the past, so why should --"

"Because," Phoebe interrupted, "of the baby." Tears stung her eyes again as she watched her past-self's hand protectively press her stomach. She hadn't been referring to that baby but to the little girl she so desperately hoped Coop was right about still being in her future. "Tell Cole you had a premonition about the Triad kidnapping a witch named Christy. He'll want to know what you saw but tell him it was fuzzy and only lasted long enough for you to see that much. He'll tell you that you're tired and it's nothing to worry about." She pushed further, "But you need to know what's going on and you need to remember what he tells you."

"The baby's life is really in danger?" When Phoebe nodded, she questioned, "Won't Cole realize he's been drugged?"

Phoebe shook her head, "He'll be too worried about you and want to avoid another mood swing."

"I don't know…"

"Trust me," Phoebe pleaded while praying she wouldn't throw up all over the bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes a moment, "You know I wouldn't mess with the past unless it was life or death."

"Cole killed the Triad," she countered. "Are you saying they come back? Do they go up against Cole? Does he lose? Do they hurt the baby?"

"Phoebe, who are you talking to?"

"That's Cole," Phoebe whispered as she quickly darted to the closet. "Trust me…" she requested one last time before closing herself in the closet just as the bedroom door opened. But before she could concentrate on their conversation, she fell to her knees and the world spun away.

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	4. part 4

_**Part Four**_

With a groan, Phoebe opened her eyes to stare up into one worried Cupid's, "Coop…"

"Welcome back," he quietly greeted the witch he'd caught in his arms just as she'd reappeared in the attic and collapsed. She tried to move from his lap and, at her moan, he cautioned, "Easy now, time travel can be rough."

"Anyone ever tell you you've got the power of understatement?" she whined as the room spun beneath her closed eyelids. She brought a hand to her forehead as if it would help stop the movement. "What time is it?"

"Almost five-thirty," he replied. "And Piper's been sitting outside the door for nearly a half-hour."

"Open the door," she requested as she tried, once again, to sit up, "I may as well get this over with now."

"You got your answers?" he asked while helping shift her onto the pile of pillows.

She didn't reply as she closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing deeply. First thing she'd do when she could stand would be to put a note in the Book about the side effects of this potion.

"Phoebe!"

Before Phoebe could open her eyes, she felt herself being pulled into her sister's arms. "Careful," she groaned, "or I'll make a mess all over your jammies."

Piper only hugged her tighter, "I was so worried about you."

"Told you you wouldn't need to open the letter," Phoebe declared as smugly as she could in her nauseous state.

"Not funny! I haven't slept a wink since you locked me out!" Piper chastised even as she gently rubbed Phoebe's temples.

"Sorry," Phoebe sighed. "God, that feels good…I think maybe chamomile would've helped. Gotta remember to add that in the note." Slowly, she eased herself from Piper's arms and sat up, "I'm okay, well, I will be when the room stops spinning."

"Told you a portal would have been better," Coop piped up.

Piper suddenly noticed the Cupid and slapped her sister's arm, "You let Cupid help but not your own sister?"

Phoebe returned the gesture, "I didn't let him do anything."

"Not for lack of trying," Coop nodded. "Your sister can be rather stubborn."

"Tell me about it," Piper muttered.

"Hey!" Phoebe wasn't that sick to her stomach that she couldn't feel insulted. "Isn't the important thing that my plan worked and I'm okay?"

"About that plan…" Piper looked around her at the remnants of the candles, "Spell?"

"Not a spell," Phoebe revealed as she hugged a pillow to her stomach, "potion."

"Time-travel potion," Coop clarified.

Piper frowned at her younger sister, "Explain. Now."

Phoebe flashed a look of annoyance at the Cupid. "Cole," she admitted. "I went back in time to talk to Cole."

"Why when you know he's --" Piper cut herself off when she remembered that Phoebe didn't know Cole still existed and that a time-travel potion hadn't been necessary. And once again, she wondered whether it had been a mistake to keep Cole's involvement in limbo a secret from Phoebe.

"And?" Coop had prompted at the same time.

"I figured when Cole worked for the Triad, he might've known why they kidnapped Christy and that he would tell me and then we could figure out a way to stop whatever's going to happen," she answered Piper. To Coop, she simply said, "I listened."

"And?" he repeated.

"And I learned," was all she replied.

"You actually listened to me, I'm impressed," he grinned.

"Not a big deal," she lied. It had been a big deal. Seeing Cole again, even if he had been the Source, opened more than just the wounds she'd suffered at both their hands. Seeing him again, being with him again, had opened that part of her heart she'd wanted to close forever.

But all Piper could think of was that Phoebe had gone back in time. She got to her feet and couldn't keep her temper from flaring, "Are you out of your mind? Didn't you think about the consequences? You could've changed our past!"

Startled from her thoughts, Phoebe scrambled to her feet and waved her hands about the room, "Does it seem different?"

"How would I know!"

"You're upset, I get that," Phoebe acknowledged. "But I told you before, we need answers and this was the only way I could think of getting them."

"You messed with the past," Piper accused. "Phoebe, the slightest change would have a ripple effect and -- God, I've gotta call Paige and make sure --"

Phoebe grabbed her sister's arm, "Paige's fine! Believe me, I've got the answ--"

"This was so irresponsible!" Piper ranted. "How could you have put all of us at risk? How could --"

"She did what she thought best," Coop quietly defended when he realized Phoebe wouldn't argue with her older sister, "and she'd spent hours researching her plan."

Phoebe glanced at Coop in surprise before averting her gaze. "Guess I shouldn't tell you about the glitch, huh…" She waited a moment and when Piper seemed to be silently counting to ten, she explained, "I thought if I went back to when Cole was human, I could convince him that he matt-- never mind, it doesn't matter. It should've worked but --"

"Should've?"

"Somehow the timing messed up and I ended up with Cole as the Source." Phoebe cringed when the old broken frame hanging on the wall next to her suddenly exploded. "It's okay, Piper, he never had a clue!"

"The Source! Phoebe, are you out of your mind!"

Stepping back, and still slightly cringing, Phoebe tried to assure her sister, "It's not like I planned it. But it was still Cole. The times it counted, it was still Cole. And he still…" she spotted Coop watching her intently but she wasn't ready to discuss with him her emotions that were all still mixed up, "The point is, she believed me and now I've got some information we need."

"Who, she?"

"She, me," Phoebe explained. "It started off okay in the Underworld but --"

"The Underworld?" Piper nearly shrieked.

"But we ended up back at home, I mean the penthouse," Phoebe quickly continued, "and I managed to keep him out of the bedroom where --"

"Where your past-self was!"

Phoebe sighed, "I'd run out of time because the potion was starting to bring me back and I still didn't have the answers and then she woke up and I had no choice, I gave her the truth potion and tried to convince her that --"

This was going from bad to worse. Piper pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to calmly interrupt, "What truth potion?"

Phoebe took a deep breath, "Okay, so maybe I was a little worried that my plan would have some glitches and I --"

"Some glitches!"

"Well, I figured better be safe than sorry, right? So I created a couple of other potions. One," Phoebe slipped the vial from her pocket and showed it to Piper, "would make someone forget and the other would make someone tell the truth. With me about to disappear, I needed to convince her to slip the truth potion into Cole's drink and ask him about the Triad and Christy."

As she watched Phoebe place the vial on the table next to the cauldron, Piper shook her head in disbelief, "You drugged the Source. You actually drugged the Source."

"Made him susceptible to telling the truth," Phoebe reasoned. "You make it sound so terrible." She cringed again when the remaining pieces of the shattered frame exploded again. "We're still here, Piper, he obviously never knew."

"That isn't the point, Phoebe!"

Coop stepped between the sisters, "You said you have information so it worked, right?" When Phoebe warily nodded, he surmised, "Your past-self retained the information he gave her and now it's part of your memory."

As if it had happened yesterday. "Strange to have a memory of something I haven't actually lived," she commented.

"One of the quirks of time travel," he told her.

"Experienced are you?"

"Back up," Piper interrupted. "You've got a memory of something that never happened?"

"Not until today when I went back and made it happen," Phoebe shrugged. "Guess I changed the past after all, huh."

"Maybe you needed to," Coop quietly said.

"Maybe…" Phoebe turned from them and fingered some of the vials she'd left on the table as she remembered Cole feeding her bites of the sandwich he'd made especially for her. "The old fashioned way," she unintentionally whispered. The memory was so real. Even though she, herself, had already been gone, and it had been her past-self that had cuddled with him on the bed. Phoebe now licked her lips as if she could taste the melted cheese. It was so real. She closed her eyes and pictured herself pouring the potion into his drink when he'd gone back to the kitchen to fetch the ketchup she'd told him she had to have as a dip for her sandwich. Tears stung her eyes when she realized how willing he'd gone, eager to do anything to please her at that moment. And she hated herself for having drugged him. Source or not, he was still her husband and she should've tried asking him first. But she hadn't given him the chance.

Piper heard the soft mewl that escaped from her sister and, for the first time, she saw the toll this task had taken on Phoebe. She came up behind Phoebe and hugged her sister, resting her chin on Phoebe's shoulder, "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" Phoebe's voice cracked.

"For accusing you of putting yourself first," she replied with a kiss to Phoebe's cheek. "That's not what you did and I'm sorry I blew up."

"I understand," Phoebe shrugged. "I did risk our lives and my plan nearly fell apart when I ended up with the Source instead of a human Cole."

Piper couldn't control a shiver and released her sister by gently turning Phoebe around to face her, "And I'm sorry that you had to face Cole like that."

"It turned out okay," Phoebe shrugged again.

"I think there's a lot more to it than that," Piper guessed, "and I'll be here whenever you're ready to talk about it."

"It did turn out okay," Coop assured them. "Phoebe, you had the opportunity you needed and you took it. And you don't have to talk about it with Piper, with me, or with anyone, until you've sorted out the answers for yourself."

"Look, pal, --"

But Coop interrupted Piper and focused on Phoebe, "You've learned and grown and that's what's important."

Phoebe shrugged again and wondered exactly what she'd learned and how she'd grown.

"You saw the truth and have acknowledged and accepted your mistakes," Coop replied as if he'd known her thought.

"Not just mine," she couldn't help but correct.

"No," he smiled, "not just yours. But now you've seen what your heart wouldn't let you see before."

Those brief few hours she'd spent in the past with Cole, making lovewith him, remembering all the good, the love. Phoebe glanced uncomfortably at Piper. How could she tell her sister that she understood better now the mistakes both she and Cole had made? How could she tell her sister that she wished he was still around so that they might forgive each other? Instead, she stepped away from Piper, sniffled, and cleared her throat, "It seems there's always a Triad. When three are in power, there are always others waiting and preparing for their time to serve. Sometimes they're vanquished but sometimes members step aside voluntarily to perform elsewhere."

"So when Cole killed them…"

Phoebe nodded, "Another three immediately took their place. The thing is, if the ones in power are killed, the Triad's weakened and, no matter how powerful their replacements, they still need time to regroup."

"Which explains why it's taken five years to hear from them again," Piper realized as she finally sat down on the sofa. "Great, just great," she muttered. "So now we have to worry 'bout them reforming and coming after us again."

"Not for a while though," Phoebe considered.

"So back to Cole," Piper said, "did he have any idea why the Triad had kidnapped Christy?"

"You're not gonna like it…" Phoebe warned.

"And I like the rest?"

Still a little dizzy, Phoebe joined her sister on the sofa and closed her eyes as she recalled what Cole had admitted while they'd lain drowsily in bed after having finished their snack. She couldn't help but rub her arms as she remembered the feel of his fingers sliding up and down her arms, as real as if she had experienced it herself. And a part of her was insanely jealous that she'd never had the chance to experience that moment for herself.

"That's ridiculous," Coop uttered. "You were there."

"Stop reading my mind!" she snapped.

Piper glared at him, "Since when can Cupids read minds?"

"Not minds," he corrected, "emotions. And it all depends on the person and how open they are and right now your sister's emotions are screa--"

"None of your business!"

Coop grinned, "Actually, they are. But, you've had a rough day so --"

To avoid an explosive situation, Piper turned Phoebe's head away from Coop, "The Triad?"

Phoebe frowned but answered, "They wanted Christy to grow up in their realm so that they could condition her to think like them, be loyal to them. They wanted to return her to our world and never once question what they trained her to do."

"Which was?"

Phoebe sighed, "Christy's the key to ultimate power."

"We already know that." But Piper quickly apologized for letting her frustration through, "Cole say anything else?"

"Just because the Triad answered directly to the Source didn't mean they always worked for him." Phoebe saw Piper's confusion and explained, "Christy was their own little experiment. Ultimate power might mean overthrowing the Source. So while they were loyally working for the Source, like by having Belthazor go after the Charmed Ones, they were also working on a plot of their own."

"So if Cole knew about that plot, why didn't he use the knowledge to get in the Source's good graces before Prue di--?"

"I asked him that," Phoebe quietly said when Piper didn't finish her thought. "It seems Cole didn't know about Christy until after he'd become Source. He'd discovered what the Triad had been planning and decided they were still weak so he was willing to let them continue and see for himself how far they'd get with Christy. If they failed, no loss, but if not…"

"He'd harness the ultimate power for himself?" Piper shivered at the thought of how powerful Cole really had been at the time. And she glanced at her younger sister and was amazed at the power Phoebe had found in order to vanquish him.

Lost in her new memories, Phoebe didn't answer Piper. She'd nearly bolted from the bed when Cole had revealed his plan for using the Triad's key for himself. But he'd caught her in his strong grip and tugged her easily back to his side. He'd wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear that she was safe, that he would never cause her any harm. And he'd promised that he'd meant every word he'd said about trusting her and believing that they, and their son, would be unstoppable. And she'd said nothing in return. All she'd done was snuggle back against him and pull his arms tighter around her. The last thought she remembered before falling asleep in his arms was his quiet declaration that he'd also learned from experience to acquire power however he could and that meant letting the Triad free to do the work while he would ensure he would be the sole being to wield the power they sought to possess.

Piper was quiet for a moment as she processed the information. "So maybe we can de-condition Christy. We've already been doing that, haven't we?"

"They've had fifteen years to work on her. I'm not so sure we can do it in a few weeks." Phoebe didn't add that she felt she'd already failed in a similar way with Cole.

"Then maybe," Piper considered, "we need to find this ultimate power before she does."

Phoebe cringed in advance, "She, um, actually, she already did."

"What? When?"

"See, this's the really bad part." She suddenly found it hard to get the words out.

"Phoebe?"

"Billie…"

"What about her?"

"She's the ultimate power."

Piper shook her head, "I did not hear you tell me that Billie is the ultimate power coming after us." She stared at her sister, "Tell me you didn't just say that."

But Phoebe couldn't comply and revealed the rest, "The Triad had discovered the two sisters would be a powerful force, maybe more powerful than the Charmed Ones, and they wanted the sisters on their side. So they planned to split the sisters when they were young and raise one who would turn the other. Cole thought it was an inspired plan if not a little flawed after he'd been the one to break the Charmed Ones. But still, when the sisters would reunite under the call of evil…let's just say he had high plans for Billie and Christy in the upper guard."

Piper watched the emotions flicker across her sister's face and realized Phoebe was dangerously close to falling apart. So she changed the focus off Cole and her time with him back to the present situation with Billie. "Billie's spent her whole life wondering about her sister's disappearance. She developed her powers on her own and sought us out all so she could find her sister. How do we tell her that her sister…"

"Has been trained by the Triad to join with her and --"

"Christy has to know," Piper suddenly understood with horror. "I mean the Triad had to've told her…"

Phoebe nodded, "Cole figured she was probably conditioned to 'save' Billie when the time was right."

"We know Billie's a powerful witch," Piper acknowledged, "or she will be with time. And look how many times she's helped us, reminded us of why we chose to be witches. She won't turn."

"Won't she? I know what it's like to be faced with that choice and I know how hard it'll be for Billie," Phoebe sadly countered. "She can't see anything right now except helping her sister cope through an ordeal that she doesn't know has been faked. And she won't see Christy manipulating the situation or using her own guilt against her. How long do you think it'll be before Christy is all Billie sees and believes?"

Piper picked up Phoebe's train of thought, "If Billie unleashes her full potential, we won't need to worry about the Triad coming back. We're in serious trouble here, Pheebs."

Phoebe agreed, "Didn't the Angel of Destiny warn us that we wouldn't even see this one coming? So tell me, Piper, how do we go up against this girl that we let into our family?"

"We can't."

"Maybe you won't have to," Coop interjected.

"I don't think we'll have a choice," Piper worried. "If Billie's this big evil that's coming, we'll have to fight her."

"Unless we do something else first," Phoebe intimated.

"We can't do that, Phoebe!"

"Like you said," Phoebe maintained, "we won't have a choice, Piper. Billie knows us, she knows our secrets, and she's powerful. We can't let her be swayed by Christy any more than she's already been and she won't be able to do it herself."

But Piper vigorously shook her head, "Christy's an innocent."

"Not anymore," Phoebe sadly informed her. "She's been trained, Piper. She's killed." She saw Piper's surprise and nodded, "Cole said the Triad's progress pleased him. Christy's killed innocents. She chose her path, Piper, and we can't change that."

"But it wasn't by choice," Piper insisted. "She was brainwashed by evil. She's still Billie's sister and we can't vanquish her."

Phoebe wearily leaned back against the sofa and closed her eyes, "I told you it was bad…"

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	5. part 5

_**Part Five**_

_**Six Weeks Later - Mid-May 2006**_

Piper led Leo by the hand to the boys' room where she found Phoebe staring out the window. "Paige just left with Billie." Phoebe merely nodded and Piper glanced at her husband before telling Phoebe, "Honey, you don't have to baby-sit."

Phoebe spun around, "Are you kidding? After everything you've been through, you and Leo deserve a night alone." She dug into her pocket and withdrew her key ring. "Here, the one with the nail polish dot is the top lock."

Piper reluctantly took the keys from her sister, "Maybe we should hang out together."

Phoebe glanced at her newly returned brother-in-law and smiled, "There'll be time for that later. Go on, before one of the boys wakes up and you decide you can't leave."

"Thanks, sweetie," Piper hugged her sister, "for lending us your place."

Leo watched Phoebe as Piper hugged her. "It's not your fault, Phoebe."

"Leo…" Piper warned as she pulled away. Hadn't they agreed not to push Phoebe to discuss what happened?

"Isn't it?" Phoebe shrugged. "It was my idea."

"But we all agreed it was for the best," Piper reminded her. "And we tried, Phoebe, we tried to help Christy but she didn't leave us any choice."

"And it's Billie that pays the price," Phoebe bitterly said as she turned back to the window. "She'll never get those images out of her head. She'll never forget the curses her sister spat at her. She'll have to live with knowing what Christy became for the rest of her life. And she'll never forgive herself for letting Christy die."

"It wasn't her fault," Leo insisted, "any more than it was yours. Christy's fate was determined fifteen years ago and all you could do was make sure as few people as possible were hurt along the way."

"It's not fair, though, is it?" Phoebe muttered as she hugged herself.

Piper glanced helplessly at her husband before she sighed, "I guess it's a good thing that Billie never told her parents about Christy's return."

Leo nodded, "She'll be able to spare them that pain."

"But not the pain of her death," Phoebe quietly added.

Piper approached her sister and placed her hands on Phoebe's shoulders, "At least she'll be with them and they can find closure. They can mourn for Christy together and they'll heal together."

"Maybe…" Phoebe considered.

Piper squeezed her shoulders with encouragement, "Definitely. You know that we're here for you, right?"

Phoebe turned around, "I'm fine, Piper."

"Sure you are," Piper skeptically commented. "You worried yourself sick for weeks about this plan of yours, you had to juggle three interviews at work, you were the one who killed Christy when we were injured, and you were so badly injured yourself that it took Paige and Leo and Wyatt to save you, and if that wasn't en--"

"Enough," Phoebe quietly requested.

"That's right, leave all that negative emotional stuff in the past. It's time to look forward to the bright future."

All three turned in the direction of the newcomer, Piper's arms raised to attack.

"Easy there, Piper," he grinned, "I wouldn't want bits of Cupid flying all through the air."

Piper sighed, "Coop…can't you knock like normal people?"

"Get out…" Phoebe growled through gritted teeth.

Surprised by the tone of her sister's voice, Piper faced her sister, "Phoebe?"

But Phoebe ignored Piper as she glared at the Cupid before shoving him out of her way as she left the room.

Coop stared at the others in as much surprise and followed them as they hurried after her.

Piper called out to Phoebe as they flew down the stairs and just managed to grab Phoebe's sleeve at the bottom steps, "Hey, what's going on?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Leo stared from one sister to the next and calmly suggested, "Maybe you need to talk about it. Piper said she felt something's been bothering you these past few weeks and --"

"Leo!"

He apologized to his wife but focused again on Phoebe, "If something happened, something we don't know about…"

"Did I do something?" Coop wondered.

Phoebe nearly cried, "Did you do something? This whole damn thing is your fault!"

Coop glanced at Piper and Leo in confusion, "I don't understand. I haven't seen you since your trip through time and I thought you were all better especially now that --"

"Shut up…" Phoebe warned.

"Phoebe, honey, what's going on?"

"You couldn't leave well enough alone," she accused Coop. "You had to convince me that I was soooo unhappy."

"You were," he maintained. "You'd closed yourself off to love and you were heading on a downward spi--"

"And like a fool I listened to you," Phoebe ranted, "and I opened my heart to love, to the pain, and now look what happened!" She began pounding his chest, "Look what happened…"

Coop grabbed hold of her wrists and supported her as she collapsed against him in tears. And he carefully lowered them both to the floor.

Piper knelt next to them and brushed Phoebe's hair with her fingers, "Honey, tell me what's wrong."

It took Phoebe a few moments to get the words out, words she hadn't been able to say aloud yet, "I'm…I'm pregnant."

Piper quickly glanced up at Leo before kissing her sister's temple, "Why didn't you say something before?" Suddenly she panicked, "Leo, when you healed Phoebe did you…"

Leo shrugged, "I didn't know she was pregnant and didn't --"

"I didn't miscarry," Phoebe sniffled, "I took a home test two days ago, right after they healed me. And the doctor confirmed it this morning."

"You shouldn't've gone up against Christy and those demons," Piper tenderly lectured, "certainly not alone."

"I wasn't sure, I thought, hoped, it was maybe only stress," Phoebe whispered to herself. She slowly looked Piper in the eyes, "But it didn't matter, I didn't have a choice. I was all that was left standing between Christy and Billie and I couldn't let Billie be the one to vanquish her."

"I still don't understand why it's my fault," Coop said.

Phoebe slapped his chest and tried to push herself out of his arms, "Because you're the one who told me to listen to him, to myself, and if I hadn't --"

Piper froze when she realized that Phoebe was talking about Cole. "You left out some details to your trip back in time."

"I couldn't tell you," Phoebe tearfully apologized. "You weren't there, Piper. You didn't know what it was like seeing him again, talking to him…I wasn't thinking…it just…it felt so right…and now, now we might all pay the price…dammit, I'm always doing this…"

Piper immediately pulled her sobbing sister into her arms, "Calm down, Phoebe, it's okay."

"How can you say that when I'm carrying the next Source?"

"Don't be ridicu-- omigod, you slept with Cole!" When Phoebe bursts into tears, Piper tried to think of anything that would help but she wasn't sure what that could be. "You didn't use protection?"

"I went with potions," Phoebe snapped, "not…God, how could I do this?"

Piper rubbed Phoebe's back, "All right, so you're pregnant. But, honey, if the baby was evil, you would've been able to tell already. You would've been --"

Phoebe shook herself free and unsteadily got to her feet, "You don't understand…Think about it, Piper, all I have is my power of premonition and it's nowhere near as advanced as it was before I lost it. So how could I vanquish Christy? I didn't have any potions on me and we should've needed a Power of Three spell…"

Piper nervously got to her feet, "Phoebe, tell me you didn't…"

Phoebe couldn't look at her sister, at any of them, as she recalled, "The fire shot from my hand so unexpectedly but it felt so natural. And you'd both been hurt and I couldn't let Billie leave with Christy and…" She burst into tears again.

Piper looked to Leo for advice, "Maybe it's not that bad…"

"Throwing fire, upper-level demonic power," Phoebe sniffled, "remember?"

"Talk to Cole," Coop suggested.

"I tried that and look where it got me," she retorted.

Leo nudged Piper, "Maybe he's right."

"Look, Leo, maybe being frozen froze some of your memory cells," Phoebe sniffed, "but Cole is gone now. He doesn't exist. And right now that's the least of my problems." She wrapped her arms around her waist, "It figures I'd ruin my life again…and yours…all because I couldn't resist him one last time…"

"You loved him, Pheebs," Piper commented sympathetically as she came up behind her sister, "maybe you still do…"

Phoebe shook her head, "Doesn't change the fact that this baby I'd seen in my future, this little girl I'd wanted so badly, is going to wind up destroying us all…"

"Not necessarily," Leo suggested, "because you're not taking any tonic, you're surrounded by your family, and you've learned from your mistakes. You're a stronger person now, Phoebe, and you'll be able to raise this baby and teach her to use her powers for good, not evil."

"This isn't how I wanted this baby!" Phoebe cried. "I wanted her conceived in love. I wanted to be in love with her father…"

"And you're not?" Coop argued. He stepped around Piper to face Phoebe and practically pulled her from her sister's arms. "You love him, Phoebe, just like Piper said. You love him and to deny that is to shortchange yourself and your daughter of something --"

"Shut up," she seethed, "this's all your fault!"

"Phoebe!" Piper quickly hugged her younger sister again and didn't miss Leo's expression. "Honey, I know maybe you're a little angry right now and you wish you could talk to Cole and --"

"I don't wish that," Phoebe insisted.

But Piper continued, "Talk to him, tell him about the baby. He loves you, Phoebe, he'd want to know."

"How would you know?" she scoffed.

Piper took a deep breath, "There's something I never told you about my time in limbo."

Phoebe shrugged, "What's to tell? You nearly died but trusted in Leo's love to save you. What's that got to do with me?"

"Because you were part of the reason I was there," she confessed. "I had my doubts about love being enough. I needed to be convinced that our love was strong and meant to be and that I had to trust in Leo's love for me."

"An old friend," Phoebe whispered as she held her sister's gaze.

Piper nodded, "I needed to be convinced to let love save me in order to convince you that love was worthwhile. He --"

"Don't…" Phoebe requested as she stepped away from her sister, "Don't…"

"I didn't know how to tell you," Piper shamefully admitted, "and when he didn't tell me I should…"

"It can't be true…"

"I'm sorry, Phoebe," Piper apologized, "I thought I was helping you move on by keeping it from you."

Phoebe couldn't breathe, "You're telling me Cole's alive?"

Piper shook her head, "He's in limbo, there's a difference."

"Well, well, well," Coop uttered in surprise, "there you go, classic example of love's eternal triumph over --"

"Shut up, Coop," Phoebe gasped, "all of you just…just leave me alone…"

As Phoebe ran up the stairs, Piper called out, "Remember what Grams taught us, Pheebs…"

Phoebe stopped in the stairwell and unconsciously rubbed her stomach, "Everything happens for a reason…yeah right."

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"Are you sure you don't mind?" Piper asked her husband.

"I'm not going anywhere," Leo assured her. "The Angel of Destiny told you that when they gave me back my wings. We'll have all the time in the world to catch up after we help Phoebe."

"Maybe we should wait for Paige," Piper considered as she looked over the spell she'd written.

Leo shook his head, "She needs some time alone with Henry."

"Go on, Piper," Coop encouraged, "the sooner Cole gets here, the sooner he can help Phoebe."

"So nice to be wanted by so many at the same time."

Piper glared at him, "If you could pop in at any time, why didn't you come earlier?"

"Missed you too, Piper," Cole grinned. "Leo, good to see you defrosted."

Leo shook his head with a chuckle, "Cole…"

But Coop was quicker to reach for and shake Cole's hand, "Congratulations, my man!"

Cole raised an eyebrow at Piper and Leo as the stranger pumped his hand enthusiastically.

Piper rolled her eyes, "Coop, Cole. Cole, Coop. He's a Cupid."

"A Cupid, huh," Cole's gaze narrowed as he forcefully removed his hand, "Where the hell where you last year when Phoebe needed you?"

"Yeah, I wasn't too crazy to learn they'd let her go unguarded for so long," Coop admitted. "She's quite special, that witch of yours."

"She's not my witch," Cole told him. Not any more. He turned to Piper, "Didn't Phoebe fall in love with the last Cupid that visited?"

"Not this time," she replied. "The last thing Phoebe's thinking of right now is falling in love with someone."

Frustrated, his hands clenched into fists, "Piper, she'll be lost if she doesn't open her heart…"

Piper glanced at Coop, "Oh, she has, Cole."

"But you just said…"

"I said she wasn't thinking of falling in love right now," Piper nodded, "because she's already in love."

"Well, that's good," Cole acknowledged a bit unenthusiastically. "It's what she needs. It's what I wanted for her."

"Good," Piper agreed, "because the guy she's in love with is you."

"Hit your head during this last battle?" Cole snapped. "I've been out of her life for almost four years and it didn't end happily-ever-after. The last thing Phoebe is is in love with me."

"You still love her," Piper gently accused.

"So?"

"So why can't she still love you?"

Afraid to believe Piper, Cole shook his head, "Phoebe was right about us. Love wasn't enough. I'd been so new to the emotion and it wasn't until after I was in limbo that I saw how destructive it could be and how much pain it could bring."

"Love is powerful," Coop told him, "but it's a gift."

"That I squandered," Cole quietly said.

Piper cautiously approached and touched his arm. When he looked at her, she informed him, "It wasn't all your fault. We were all learning and all reacting and the blame lies with us too." He seemed stunned and she added, "I don't know the details about Phoebe's visit back in time when you were Source but I do know you helped heal some of the wounds she hadn't been able to on her own. As ironic as this sounds, somehow, even as the Source, you got her to believe in love."

Cole's eyes widened as he suddenly recalled that odd evening. "I thought she'd been going through a couple of mood swings. It was so…Piper," he grabbed her arm, "why did you call me here?"

Piper saw the answer already reflected in his eyes, "I never used the spell because you showed up on your own." She placed her hand on top of his, "You know the truth, Cole. You know what happened that night. That's why you felt pulled here tonight."

Cole turned his gaze to Coop, "You wished me congratulations."

Coop nodded with a smile, "You love each other. Now you just have to tell each other."

"She's probably in her old room," Piper suggested.

"Her old room?"

Piper patted his hand, "A long story you don't have to hear right now."

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	6. part 6

_**Part Six**_

He saw her standing by the window seat and stepped through the doorway. She seemed so lost and he was afraid he was too late despite what Piper revealed. And, as he carefully closed the door behind him, he realized he had no idea how to begin. "Hey…"

Phoebe's breath caught in her throat when she heard the soft click of the door and the sound of his voice but she couldn't turn around. "Hey," she responded in a croaked voice.

"I can't stay long," he quietly said as he remained in his spot by the door.

She nodded, "I know…" Slowly, she turned around but she couldn't bring herself to move towards him. "I didn't know about limbo…"

"In a way you did," Cole told her. "There was that one moment."

She closed her eyes when she immediately knew which moment he spoke of and she brought the image to her mind, "I thought…I thought I sensed you but I knew it was impossible. You were gone."

"I am, Phoebe."

She opened her eyes and, in a quivering voice, asked, "Are you real?"

"Am I real meaning at this moment? Yes, I'm right here." And he took a step towards her. "But am I real meaning can I stay? No, Phoebe, I can't."

Unknowingly, she took a single step towards him too. "Why didn't you tell me when you realized where you were? I would've tried to --"

He held up his hand, "No, Phoebe, you couldn't. You were still hurting, still angry and resentful. You needed time, the time I didn't give you before I was vanquished."

She immediately looked down at the floor, "I'm sorry."

Cole took a small step towards her, "It wasn't your fault."

She looked up and met his gaze, "Wasn't it? Even though it was over, I wanted things to be good between us and when you needed help, I should've been more supportive."

"I was beyond help by that point," he quietly admitted. "Phoebe, you were in pain and I was already lost. The only person who could've stopped my descent was me and, in a way, that's exactly what happened."

"You were in pain too," she argued, "and I hate that I didn't let myself see."

"You did see," he said, "but I kept pushing at you because I was desperate and that pushed you further away." She was about to protest and he shook his head, "I was, Phoebe. I was desperate and obsessed with making you see what I saw."

"I knew you loved me, Cole," she shrugged helplessly, "and I loved you too. That was never the problem."

"No, it wasn't," he agreed, taking another small step. "But I didn't understand the rest of it until it was too late."

"Me either," she softly confessed. "I was in pain for so long, Cole. And even when I found love again, it was never the same because of that fear, that fear that something terrible would happen and I'd be left alone. Truth is, I think I see now how I was the one who sabotaged each of those relationships."

"You didn't --"

"I did," she interrupted. "I didn't trust in their feelings for me because I didn't trust in my own feelings. It's no wonder Coop's so worried about me closing myself off from love."

"There was one, though," Cole suggested, "one who nearly broke through that protective shell you created."

Phoebe smiled wistfully, "Drake…He came along at a time when I…That, that was you, wasn't it? You sent Drake?"

"He seemed to be a perfect match," he replied, "everything you could've wanted in a mate. I'm sorry about the timing."

Phoebe was silent a moment and watched him. Even without her empathic powers, she'd been pretty good at reading him and she knew, without a doubt, he was utterly sincere. Cole had guided someone, someone he thought she could love, into her life and had regretted the way she'd lost him. "Thank you, Cole…Drake was, he was pretty special. And maybe, maybe if we would've had more time…"

"He loved you, Phoebe," Cole pointedly stated, "and if he could have stayed…"

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you let Piper tell me?"

"Piper didn't say one way or the other what she would tell you," he responded, "but I didn't think it was a good idea to say anything so I didn't suggest it. The whole purpose of saving Piper was to help you move forward, not backward."

"Didn't you think maybe I needed closure?" she asked a bit bitterly.

About to step closer, Cole stopped and remained where he was. "I didn't want to reopen old wounds and after what Piper went through I wasn't sure you'd appreciate my involvement."

"I wish you would've said something. I wish Piper would've said something."

He shook his head, "It wouldn't have changed anything. I'd still be there and you'd still be here."

She looked back at him with tears welling in her eyes, "But maybe…"

"No maybes, Phoebe," he spoke firmly, "I'm where I'm supposed to be and you're where you're supposed to be."

Her voice cracked, "What's it like?"

"Honestly?" He waited for her reaction and sighed, "It's peaceful. I'm not torn anymore. I've got a clear idea of who I am and what I want to do, what I need to do."

She took an unsteady step closer, "Isn't it lonely?"

He couldn't lie to her, "Yes, it is." When she hung her head, he quickly added, "But I've accepted it, Phoebe. And I'm not always alone. I hear the calls of souls in trouble and I interact with them. And sometimes, if I fail, I pass them as they wander through limbo."

"But it's not the same, is it?" She raised her eyes to glance at him, "You heard Piper's calls?"

"And Leo's," he confirmed. "And…yours."

She swiped at a tear that fell from her eye, "I'm sorry, Cole. Sorry for your pain and for not understanding when you counted on me." She wanted to go to him and throw her arms around him but couldn't get her feet to move. "I'm sorry we didn't have the time to recover from our mistakes before it all went wrong and I'm sorry you're suffering now."

"I'm not --"

"You're alone," she nearly cried, "for eternity! How can that be a just punishment for whatever evil you did? What about all the good you did? Doesn't trying to overcome your demonic nature count for anything?"

"Of course it does," he smiled, "why do you think I'm in limbo? Phoebe, I tried to recreate the world and was vanquished there. By all that's logical, I shouldn't exist anywhere, much less limbo."

"That's supposed to make me feel better?" she sniffled.

"It should," he chuckled before somberly adding, "Phoebe, I'd much rather be in limbo where I can still try to atone for the pain I'd caused for over a century. I've been able to help souls find their way and --"

The words burst unexpectedly from her lips, "Can you ever forgive me?"

Cole ached to hold her but was afraid of what might happen given her emotional state so he remained glued where he was as he replied, "On two conditions."

Not what she was expecting to hear, Phoebe looked at him startled, "I don't understand."

"One," he raised his index finger, "you forgive me in return." He watched the tears fall from her eyes as she quickly nodded. "Then, two, tell me why I'm here now."

Again, taken aback, Phoebe sniffled and admitted, "I don't know. Honest. I didn't even know you still existed until five minutes ago. And that was to find out you were in limbo where you have to be dying to get int-- omigod, am I dying? I can't be dying! Not now, not when I --"

"Slow down," he held up his hands, "you're not dying, Phoebe. But I was pulled here tonight by the call of a soul and it wasn't Piper's and I'm not so sure it was yours either."

Phoebe gasped, unwilling to believe what he was hinting at. Cole couldn't know about the baby. But she caught his gaze travel down to her abdomen and she brought her hand to it as her eyes met his. "I'm pregnant, Cole. I'm pregnant with your daughter."

He heard the words but couldn't believe them. "What did you say?" he whispered.

Her hand nervously rubbed the area as she repeated, "I'm pregnant. We're going to have a little girl and she'll be so beautiful, Cole. She'll…" But thinking of that vision only made her fears about the baby that much stronger and she hugged herself as she started to cry, "I can't do this…I can't…I can't have this baby…"

Cole moved quickly and caught her as she sank to her knees. He wrapped his arms around her and tried to soothe her, "It's okay, Phoebe, it's okay…"

"No it's not," she sobbed. "I want this baby. I want this baby more than anything." She lifted her chin up to look at him, "Especially now, especially when I know you're her daddy. But I changed everything, don't you see…"

When she broke off in fresh tears, he tightened his arms around her and began to rock her gently.

"Don't you see," she repeated in a choked voice, "don't you see, Cole? I'm carrying the next Source! This baby, this baby, she's your heir who'll know no rival, remember?"

He froze. He'd been so caught up in discovering she was pregnant that he hadn't questioned how she'd gotten that way. "That night?" He felt her nod but he still couldn't move. He'd been the Source when this baby was conceived. No wonder Phoebe was terrified. Finally, he gently pushed her back so he could focus on her, "It's different, Phoebe. She won't be raised in the Underworld."

"Technically…" Phoebe sputtered before burrowing as close as she could to him.

"Don't throw my words back at me," he teased, "you know what I mean. She'll be surrounded by good, Phoebe."

But she suddenly pushed herself free from his embrace and somehow got to her feet. She couldn't face him as she confessed, "I've already killed with her power."

Cole considered her comment as he also stood, "Somehow I don't think it was on an innocent or Piper wouldn't have greeted me like she did and I wouldn't be standing here talking to you."

"I don't understand," she said as she turned around.

He held out his arms to her and was relieved when she willingly stepped into them. "Piper apologized and I think forgave me. Either way, she was all set to call for me."

"Why?"

He kissed the top of her head, "For you. Guess she thought you needed me."

Phoebe nuzzled his chest, "I did."

He stiffened, "Pardon?"

"I did," she repeated before she gazed up at him, "I mean, I do. God, Cole, I thought I was over you. I thought I'd put you and that chapter of my life in the past. And I was doing great until Coop came along and I let him convince me that I was closing my heart again."

"Met the guy," Cole snorted.

"He means well," she chastised as she pulled away again and sat on the edge of the bed. "It was supposed to be a quick trip back to the past, y'know. Go back, get the answers about the Triad and Christy, and return. But it went wrong."

"Because I was the Source," Cole sighed.

She wanted to comfort him and tell him it wasn't his fault. "I was so scared of seeing you, period. It's one thing to relive memories or look at a picture but you were real, Cole, and I could talk to you."

He shook his head, "But you couldn't or you'd change the past."

She wiped away a stray tear, "And there you were, so concerned about me and about the baby. And I knew, I could feel, your love for me. You were the Source, how crazy is that?"

"I did love you," he reached out and caressed her cheek, "I still do. Maybe even more than I did before because now I know and understand what I've lost."

"Cole, I…"

"It's okay, Phoebe," he assured her with a smile, "you don't have to say it. I don't need to hear the words."

"But maybe I need to say them," she declared as she stood toe-to-toe with him. "You have to know, Cole. You have to know that I…"

Afraid to move, he waited.

Tears fell quickly now and she reached up to trace the contour of his chin, "I love you, Cole. I always have. But I had to bury it because I couldn't deal with the pain. And I'm so sorry. That wasn't fair of me, I didn't --"

Cole framed her face between his two hands as he bent his head, "I'm sorry, Phoebe. I never wanted, never meant, to hurt you."

Suddenly a golden glow emanated from within Phoebe and formed a bubble around them. Her legs wobbled and she clung to Cole as he guided her down on the bed. Weakened slightly, she snuggled into his side and watched as he tested the shield by bringing a finger to it. "What is it?" she whispered when his finger was met with tiny colorful sparkles.

"Something familiar," he murmured before a grin slowly spread across his features. He turned to gaze at her and lightly brushed his finger across her lips, "Close your eyes and concentrate on the feeling."

"I don't have empathy anymore," she shook her head. The golden bubbled shimmered brightly and she felt another drain of energy and she closed her eyes with a tired sigh, "Fine, whatever…" But after a moment, she opened her eyes wide in amazement and her eyes welled again with tears as she gazed back at Cole.

"I think we know who called me tonight," he softly told her.

"She can't keep us in a magic bubble," she sadly declared. "Didn't we learn that the hard way?"

"It's her way of letting us --"

"It won't change what has to happen," Phoebe tearfully interrupted. "You're leaving and she'll be --"

"Innocent!" he angrily stated as he suddenly sat up and burst the bubble with a muted pop. "She's an innocent, Phoebe."

"But the flame-throwing," Phoebe protested as she leaned forward on her elbow. "What about that?"

Cole quickly knelt before her, his angry outburst fading, and he reached for her hand as she sat up, "It's a power, Phoebe, no more evil than premonition or levitation. You'll teach her how to use it for good. You and your sisters."

She couldn't meet his gaze, "How can you have such faith in me to raise her right? After all the times I've screwed up…"

"Because you had such faith in me," he immediately told her. "Because even when I was the Source, you stood by my side and defended our love. And because if you really believed, deep down, that this baby was the next Source, you would have already vanquished it."

"I couldn't," she whispered, "because…"

"Because you wanted to believe she was good," he finished for her.

Phoebe leaned forward into his arms and added, "Because maybe she's the one thing, the only good thing, that will come from all of the pain." She buried her face in his neck and kissed him, "Because everything happens for a reason and maybe, maybe, she's the reason you had to become the Source."

Cole hugged her even tighter and could barely find his voice to agree, "Maybe she is…"

"I don't want you to go…"

He almost didn't hear her plea, muffled as it was against him. "I don't want to go either," he admitted. "But I have to."

"I know," she sniffled as she finally pulled back. "And I know you're watching me."

"Both of you," he corrected as he hesitated from touching her abdomen. To his surprise, Phoebe guided his hand for him and pressed hers on top of his. "Always," he added in a choked voice.

"Thank you," she whispered, "thank you for loving me and for giving me our daughter."

"Thank you for loving me," he echoed with a light kiss to her lips, "and for giving me our daughter."

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"Hey…" Phoebe quietly greeted with a knock on her sister's open bedroom door.

"Hey," Piper uttered in surprise as she quickly set aside her novel and held her arms open to her younger sister.

Phoebe eagerly accepted the hug and squeezed her sister tightly, "He's gone…"

"He'll be back," Piper declared.

"I…I hope so…"

"Trust me, I'm your big sister," Piper stroked Phoebe's back, "I know what I'm talking about." Phoebe didn't answer and Piper simply held her sister and rocked her long after Phoebe fell asleep in her arms.

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	7. epilogue

_**Epilogue**_

_**Five Years Later**_

Phoebe's heart pounded in her chest as she raced into her daughter's room. She flew to Faith's bedside and gathered the sobbing child in her arms. "Shh, my ladybug, it's okay, Mommy's here, it's okay, Mommy's here…"

"It was a demon, Mommy," Faith cried. "A demon came to get me."

But Phoebe shook her head as she rocked her daughter, "There are wards all over your room, sweetie. It was just a bad dream. Wyatt and Chris teased you in school about demons and you had a bad dream."

"No!" Faith screamed. "Demon, came to get me….came to get me…"

Growing worried that Faith was only becoming more hysterical, Phoebe still turned in the direction she felt Faith was pointing to behind her. And her own terror grew when, in the dim glow of the unicorn nightlight, she spotted the scorched outline on the wall. "Oh, God…" she whispered as she rocked her daughter faster.

"I want Daddy," Faith sobbed.

Phoebe hugged her daughter even tighter, "You know he can't be here, Faith." But Faith only screamed louder for her daddy and Phoebe panicked. In the nearly five years of her daughter's life, Faith had never reacted like this. She glanced up at the ceiling, "Cole, if you're watching…please…we need you…"

"I'm here," he quietly announced as he appeared in the room behind Phoebe. He quickly sat at Phoebe's side and pulled his daughter into his arms. As he rubbed her back and her cries quieted, he glanced at Phoebe who silently pointed to the wall. "You're safe, Faith. I'm here. Mommy's here. You're safe."

While Cole continued to rub Faith's back, Phoebe leaned against him and stroked her daughter's hair. "The demon's gone, sweetie. You're safe now." She rested her head on Cole's shoulder and closed her eyes while taking in some of his strength. "You're safe," she continued to murmur as Faith became calmer and her cries ceased.

Faith suddenly hiccupped and Cole shared an amused and relieved glance with Phoebe. "Am I bad, Daddy?"

"No," he quickly told her with a kiss to the top of her head, "of course not."

"But I used my power," the little girl told him as she curled into a ball, "an' I'm not s'posed to."

Phoebe had to slide down on the bed to meet her daughter's face, "Faith, listen to me, you didn't do anything wrong."

"But you made me go to my room when I used my power on Auntie Paige's book…"

Phoebe caught Cole's inquiring and annoyed gaze and frowned, "She had a temper tantrum because Chris got the prize from the breakfast cereal box and Paige said it was his since he actually eats the cereal and was the one who found it."

"What book?" he sniffed.

Phoebe sat up straight, "What difference does that make?" But before she could go any further with the argument, she felt a tug on her sleeve.

"Am I bad?"

Phoebe quickly framed her daughter's face and lovingly pressed her daughter's cheeks, "You're not bad, my ladybug. Just like Daddy said. You did a good thing. You used your powers to protect yourself."

"Didn't wan' him to get me," Faith whispered, "an' steal me…Wyatt an' Chris were right, Mommy. He came…"

Cole hugged his daughter tighter, "What's she saying?"

Phoebe touched Cole's tense arm, "They were teasing her in school about demons coming. They didn't know…"

"They shouldn't tease her," he warned, "not about that. They're both old enough to know better."

"They're little boys," she reasoned, "who enjoy teasing little girls, especially when those little girls are like their sister."

"I wouldn't tease my brother," Faith piped up with another hiccup.

"I'm sure you wouldn't," Phoebe smiled as she combed her fingers through Faith's hair. She glanced sideways at Cole and, once again, reminded him, "I could always whip up more of that potion and step back in time."

Cole kept his arms around Faith but looked Phoebe squarely in the eye, "We have our miracle, Phoebe. Don't tempt fate."

She brought her hand to his cheek, "We'll discuss this la--"

He recognized the tell-tale signs of a premonition. "What'd you see? The demon?"

"Junior demon, maybe…"

He shook his head as she smiled, "Phoebe…we discussed this…"

She glanced down at her daughter, "I'm guessing sometime in the next few months because she didn't look much older after he was born."

"Well?" he reluctantly asked.

"It was night, dinner I guess, and he spit up all over Paige's new blouse…"

"That's my boy," he grinned.

Phoebe slapped his shoulder before resting her forehead against it, "I knew you wanted this…"

Shaken from his reverie, he told her, "We shouldn't tempt fate. One miracle is more than enough."

"Well, this little miracle is sound asleep," she realized.

Cole glanced down and smiled at the little girl curled in his arms. He gently shifted her back onto her pillows and, with Phoebe, tucked Faith under the covers.

Phoebe reached for Faith's favorite teddy bear and carefully placed it under Faith's arm. When Cole leaned back and watched his daughter sleep, she threw her arms around him. "All to myself now. Let's talk about our son."

"Let's talk about this attack," he quietly countered.

"Not until I'm sure she's asleep," she insisted. "Right now, I just want to hold you and watch our daughter sleep and tell you all about the rest of my premonition. The Triad was wrong y'know. Christy wasn't the key. Because the ultimate power isn't Billie. It's not a person. The ultimate power is --"

"Love," Cole completed for her. She smiled back at him and that only made him more annoyed with her and her risky plan to get pregnant. Still, he couldn't help himself as he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. "This isn't what I wanted, Phoebe," he sighed. "You were supposed to move on with your life. You were supposed to find someone to love."

She shrugged and kissed his chin, "It's your fault, y'know. Yours and Coop's. You should've been more specific."

"Not funny," he commented even as he kissed her temple.

Phoebe gently turned his face to gaze directly into his eyes, "I don't care…I love you, Cole Turner, and that's that."

**_The End_**


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